Credit to Domer, for this masterful piece of writing:
So i walk up to my boss and ask for a meeting. I told him there where some things we needed to discuss.
You see, this all started a few years ago, where among other things, the boss and I came to an agreement to divide the profits of the company 60-40, in my favor. Seeing how generous it was I gave him the option to opt out of this agreement after a few years. Well, he had the nerve to opt out of it. I mean seriously. Sure, he takes on all the financial risks of running the company, and pays me a great salary on top of providing great benefits. But I do work long hard hours with the company for 6 months out of the year. And don’t forget the week here and weekend there the rest of the year. I bet you, if I added it all up I probably work 7 maybe even 8 months out of the year!
And don’t forget the time I put into work on “my own time” the rest of the year! If we count that, I probably work all 12 months of the year and if I’m lucky I only get 3 or 4 weeks of actual vacation a year! Can you believe that? I work with this company 12 months a year, get maybe 3 or 4 weeks of vacation. And this guy doesn’t want me to take 60% of the companies profits. He can’t run the business without me. I’m the one actually doing the work, while he sits up in his office and twiddles his thumbs! This company was doing pretty well before I got her, but now that I’m here, it is really doing great. Sure, my boss “says” he has lost some money the past year or two and that growth of the company isn’t rising as expected, but, pfft.. I don’t believe him. I even asked him to show me his audited financials for the last decade to prove it, but he wouldn’t, he want to only show me a few years! Crazy man!
I mean all the data needed to determine whether or not he is telling the truth is a matter of public record via tax documents and other sources, but I need to see how he is spending his own personal money too. The nerve of this guy!
I know what some of you are thinking. You probably think, I make 10 million a year! No way. I make about 770,000 per year and on average most people in my business only last about 3 or 4 years. In all, I’m only going to make about 2-3 million for my career here! unbelievable! I have a family to feed. And if you haven’t heard enough. Do you know that salary isn’t GUARANTEED! If he fired me for some reason, I wouldn’t get paid for the rest of the year I didn’t work for him! What kind of crazy stuff is that! Seriously! He can fire me without cause and then NOT pay me the rest of my contract! I’ve never heard of such a thing! He needs to wake up to the real world!
And now, he has the nerve to lock me out of my office. He isn’t even paying my health insurance. I have to foot the bill for cobra insurance! Man, cobra insurance! And I have to pay for it! I’m so mad! I was only making 770K per year for Pete’s Sake! How can I be expect to pay ALL of my own insurance!
I know what I’m going to do. I’m suing! He made me work 6 months per year. Had me come in to work for another month or so per year. Paid me a measly 770K per year and provided great benefits on top of sharing 60% of his profits with me and now he has the nerve to ask for something back!
Where’s my lawyers number!